If I had to pick one...

If I had to pick one thing I strongly dislike about the South, it would be cockroaches.

These disgusting monsters do not reside in Indiana...
They were quite a shock to me when we first moved here almost 10 years ago.

THEY ARE HUGE!

If I see one skitter through my house a chill of anger goes up my spine...
because
they are GROSS.
they are FAST
they make me feel DIRTY.

Last night I was in my bathroom washing my face before bed.
Reflecting in the mirror, I could see 'someone' peering at me from behind on the top of shower...
GRRRRRRRRRR...

My heart rate speeds up and I start searching for something, ANYTHING that I can use to KILL THE ROACH!!!

One of Kevin's magazines will do just fine...but the killing must be strategic...because RARELY if EVER are roaches killed on the first attempt.

Side note: Kevin tells me that roaches can actually live for 2 weeks without a head. 2 WEEKS! They actually starve to death... I. Know.

As I said, they rarely die on the first swat...so you have to make sure the nasty things won't corner you or worse yet, CHARGE YOU.

So I choose my position (at the shower door. If it falls from the top, it will be semi trapped in the shower floor and I can slam the door if it is charging me. Arm raised, eye on the target, deep breath, SWAT!

As anticipated the grody thing falls to the floor, scurrying and flopping.

I continue swatting while chanting, "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!!"

Finally, it is still. Lying on it's back...but I have learned from previous experience that this position DOES NOT mean that the roach is actually DEAD. Nope, these nightmares know how to play dead. I'm. Serious.

So I get some toilet paper, toss it over the possible corpse...and give it one final THUD with magazine. I am finally satisfied with it's dead-ness once it's guts have splatted out. I get more toilet paper to pick it up (disinfect the splatted area) and flush it down the toilet. Which reminds me why the guts are my only satisfactory sign that the roach is deceased...I have flushed a 'thought to be dead' cockroach down the toilet before and later found it in the bowl again. I. AM. NOT. KIDDING. These bugs are straight from the pit.

You might be surprised by this violent streak in me. I am too, actually.
I believe I reserve the angst for cockroaches only. I hate them that much.

So, while I am not sitting around making lists of the things I hate about the South...the list is super short...

COCKROACHES.

That's it.